She’s got some nerve, that Helen Mirren. Wins all the major acting awards, shows up at the Oscars looking hot. Puts the 50, 40, and 30-somethings all to shame. And the 20-year olds? They looked like so much fluffy cotton candy about to float away next to Mirren’s rock-solid, sensual self.

Helen Mirren, a bona fide Dame, is 61 years old and looks every year of it, but in the best possible way.

She’s the woman I want to be … at any age.

Did you see the Oscars? That dress? That body? Jiminy cricket. The best thing about the entire show was Mirren. The second best thing was when Jack Black (love him), Will Farrell (not so much) and John C. Reilly (shrug) presented a fabulous little ditty not simply in praise of Dame Helen Mirren — but singing their fervent wishes that it was they, not her hubby, who would be taking her home that night.

Yup. I want to be Helen Mirren. And not just because three much-younger guys want to sleep with her and said so on the Oscars. Though, still, not a bad problem to have. In fact, I dig a man who can dig an older woman. Ashton Kutcher didn’t exactly flip my switch until I saw he had the rocks to not just date, but to marry, a much-older woman.

But Demi Moore is no Helen Mirren, at least not yet. And besides, Mirren, often described as “the ultimate thinking man’s sex symbol” is married to Taylor Hackford, a man her own age.

If Mirren’s had plastic things done to her face or body, it’s done well enough not to look it. She’s got wrinkles and lines and bags and even sags, but for once that old saying about age adding character to a face is as true for a woman as it seems to be for every man. She looks more fabulous now than she did at thirty.

Of course, she’s got the money for the best make-up and hair colorist. And that little number she was wearing at the Oscars, well, who wouldn’t look every inch fabulous in couture cut like that?

But nevertheless, no matter how much help you have, no matter whose dress you’re wearing, no matter how many dollars worth of diamonds are dangling in your décolletage, it’s still you …. And it’s the “you” that makes a woman sexy. It’s not the low-cut dress, the plumped up pout. It’s not even the Agent Provocateur you’re wearing under that suit.

For women (and men, too, for that matter), sexiness emanates from the white hot combination of intelligence, confidence, and humor. Without all three, your sex appeal is D.O.A. Oh, you might be able to get someone interested in you temporarily with a wink and a Wonder bra, but sustaining the long-term interest of another requires an essential thing: you must know and like yourself no matter what your age.

Beyond the still-rockin’ body, Mirren’s sexiness is in her burning intelligence, her often amused eyes, her wickedly sly smile.

Here’s what I like most about her: There’s not a hint of apology in her presentation of herself. Getting older can be hell for almost any woman but it’s even harder for a woman who thinks she has to apologize for it or who tries to hide it.

Mirren walks and talks like she knows exactly who she is and makes no apology for every year she’s got under her belt. When she moves across a stage or sits for an interview, she looks almost preternaturally relaxed, like she’s right where she believes she deserves to be.

That’s what ultimately makes her so damn sexy: Helen Mirren believes in Helen Mirren. She makes you believe too – not just in her, but in yourself, and that’s sex appeal with a capital D, H, and M.

The nerve!