The Creative Loafing newspaper is running a piece I wrote about last year’s efforts by the County and City to pull together a local land deal in the hopes of landing Red Sox spring training here in sunny Sarasota. The story has enough monkey business in it to read like comedy — and it’d be wicked funny … if only it weren’t for those little things we all hope to see in our local government and elected officials — pesky things like decent, above-board behavior, transparency, and intelligent decision-making.

Here’s are two snippets from the column:

In an attempt to pull a bit of wool over the parcel owners’ eyes, the county accepted the aid of two of its contacts – two private citizens willing to help the county acquire what it wanted without tipping its hand to the prospective sellers. The plan was for these private citizens – referred to many times by County officials but never named –to enter into contracts with the parcel sellers and then assign those contracts to the county.

Despite the fact that she voted to accept the unreadable contracts, Patterson still admonished the rest of her fellow commissioners after the vote, saying: “You just voted on a package on a property with an appraisal you didn’t see to support a contract that you’re taking over that you can’t read.”

To read this story in its entirety — posted today on Creative Loafing’s website — just click here: Smoke & Mirrors. If you prefer to read it in print, the print column will run in CL’s May 13 issue out on newstands next week.