Face-off with Facebook
A little over a year ago, I set up a Facebook page at the urging of a friend. We’re both creative types and he thought a Facebook page might help me spread the word about my book, Sideways in Sarasota.
I’ve had a love/hate, mostly hate!, relationship with Facebook ever since. I’ve enjoyed the occasional update from a friend on something I didn’t know about — one friend snagged a great speaking engagement, one friend lost a lot of weight and posted gorgeous updated photos, another friend was a finalist for a filmmaking grant. All good, cool stuff to know. But for the most part, I was overwhelmed upon each visit by the sheer volume of stuff, stuff, stuff, being stuffed and unstuffed and then restuffed. It was a kind of hallucinatory experience each time I ventured in and I always left a few seconds later, shaking my head at what had become of my world. (more…)
Home is where you make it and other musings on Einstein’s birthday
Today is Einstein’s birthday — my cat, Einstein, that is. She and I stayed up very late last night celebrating (yes, while Coco and Boomerang were slumbering) by standing outside on the screened in porch, mesmerized by a spider that has built a GIGANTIC web very close to a motion-sensor outdoor light.
Trust everyone … but cut the cards yourself
Finley Peter Dunne is the one who gets the attribution for the phrase “Trust everyone, but cut the cards.” But it’s an axiom I’ve adopted for myself for a long time now. I’ve just always added the “yourself” part to further clarify that the only trust that matters is the trust you have in yourself.
Ergo, have friends, be happy, fall in love, take that job … but don’t let anybody else cut the cards you’ll be playing with. Or else — in all likelihood, and all evidence supports — you’ll be short a few cards when you need them most.
People play to win. They protect themselves at all costs to get what they want when they want it. I’m not saying that’s necessarily a bad thing — as long as they’re honest about their pursuits and interests — but am most definitely saying understanding that truth should change the way we think and talk and act about trust and love and faith, in our families, our lovers, our friends, our elected officials.
And, in light of all the crap that passes for human interaction these days — name calling at the highest levels of government, people like Glenn Beck being given a platform — and the idiocy of the unthinking yokels who actually give him the time of day, Tiger Woods, JNadel, Madoff, even our own local Kathy Dent who couldn’t be bothered to audit properly, and yes, maybe even our own president and his minions who while they may have accomplished a great thing with health care reform, their behind-the-scenes turning of the screws didn’t exactly leave those of us who care about ends and their means with a happy afterglow — I’m fairly certain, in fact, I’m precisely certain, that while I may keep my cards on the table, while I may stay in the game … nobody’s every going to be cutting or dealing the cards of my life but me.
When Sandra Bullock stood up and gave her Academy award acceptance speech and ended it by giving props to her husband Jesse for “having my back” — sheesh, I almost faltered for a second. I almost thought, hey, maybe it is possible to find someone who will have your back unequivocally and in a stand-up, rock-solid way. She didn’t say he was her savior, or the love of her life or any bullshit like that. She just said he had her back. That simple. And that important. To know that come hell or high water, the person you sleep with is going to be careful and protective with your heart and your life, even if it costs them something in the process.
Well, by all appearances, looks like Sandra was wrong. He didn’t have her back at all … in fact, he was busy getting in back with another woman, possibly more than one. I have no problem with the guy if he wants to get laid elsewhere — but be a man and tell your wife first, so she can have the opportunity to protect herself and/or get out. Or at the very least, have the cajones to tell her what’s happened within hours of it happening. Don’t wait until she’s reached the pinnacle of professional success to let her learn about your dirty deeds done dirt cheap.
The thing about having someone’s back is that it’s not about love and promises and weddings and pre-nups. It’s about 100%, 24/7/365 — never, ever — screwing that person over. You don’t have to love them eternally. You don’t have to fake orgasms. You don’t have to lie to get them to do something you want them to do, or cover up something you want to do but think they won’t approve of.
You just have to be honest. Every time. Ahead of time. Behind time. All the time.
A Girl with a Guinness ….
Every St. Patty’s since 2006, I think, I’ve dragged out this favorite column of mine which has appeared in print in the Tampa Tribune, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, and Pelican Press newspapers … hope you enjoy it — whether you’ve read it before or not — and that it inspires you to go get a Guinness tonight in honor of the Irish, poets everywhere, and women who are not Irish, but think they could be at any given moment.
A Girl with a Guinness … or how to live life instead of just writing about it (um, I need to follow my own advice!)
The Irish have been known to knock out a poem or two (think Seamus, Oscar, Van). Poetry, which for me is just another form of philosophy, is in their blood it seems, and while I’ve been known to wax poetic, I’m neither Irish nor poet.
But I know poetry when I see it – a flock of geese flying over my head at dawn; feel it – rain on my skin when everyone else has run for cover; hear it – anything Beethoven; and smell it – a kitchen full of cooking.
But it wasn’t until recently that I learned you can even taste poetry – in a pint of beer, no less. Irish beer. Guinness beer to be exact. (more…)
Stop! Oh, yes, wait a minute, Mister Postman!
Now, I hear the USPS might shut down Saturday service … I’m okay with that — as long as they continue five days a week. 
But what I lament is the idea that people just don’t write old-fashioned letters anymore. We’re losing something — an archive of loves, loves lost, travels, penmanship, the ability to coherently write down our thoughts without the benefit of the backspace button or cut and paste rearranging of our thoughts. (more…)
Apocalypse now?
Have you read The Road? — Cormac McCarthy’s unblinking view of a not-so-brave, post-apocalyptic United States? If you haven’t read it … or couldn’t read it (for reasons you’d know if you even tried to read it) … you can always see the film of the same name. Or maybe you’ve heard of The Book of Eli with Denzel Washington?
Even documentaries like Food Inc., are like big neon flashing posters of what our world is coming to and who’s going to come out on top and who’s going to be down in the gutter along with the pig entrails and chicken beaks … if we don’t change our ways about how we seed, grow, feed, and consume the stuff that keeps us alive.
And, have you seen those television shows — the ones like Jericho or even, to a lesser extent, Flash Forward and Lost, and even The Good Wife (with its entire raison d’etre based around the initial story of a political figure going down for the count because he was caught nearly in flagrante with a hooker … um, and the “good wife” who, so far, at least, is standing by her man) … doesn’t the world seem awfully pessimistic about the future of our collective, and individual, humanity? (more…)
Tiger Tamed
I just watched Tiger’s press/public statement. Whatever his truth — whatever his past or future — he seemed very genuine, straight, humble(d), and believable. Guess we’ll see.
My biggest interest was when he spoke about his upbringing as a Buddhist. That didn’t surprise me in terms of how focused he’s been on the golf course, but of course, it’s hard to see any traces of his study of Buddhism in his behavior toward women, sexuality, and marriage.
I’ve studied Buddhism and been attracted to its tenets for a long time. I’ve always felt very strongly about its philosophy that it is our craving that is our undoing — whatever it is that we crave. I do try to create a life — day to day — where I have no attachment that would result in a desire to control outcomes or people.
Buddha at the door
It’s extremely hard to do and I’m equally successful and unsuccessful, and accordingly, I try to have no attachment to that success or failure either. If you’re interested, pick up a copy of The Teachings of the Compassionate Buddha. I’m somewhere along the Eightfold Path — but where exactly, I can’t say.
I’ve been harsh about Tiger … and right now, all I’m feeling is compassion. So, if his talk did nothing else than that — I think that’s worth it.
As long as that wasn’t his goal … 
Quit ya whinin’!
Sheesh. Last night after I posted my “woe is me, I don’t got no fun” blog, I realized what a whiner I’ve turned into about this whole “365 days of fun” thing I got myself into for my New Year’s Resolution.
So, I’m going to quit whining about how I’ve frickin’ lost my mojo, or juju, or ya-ya, or whatever the hell it is and JUST DO IT. (more…)
Letter-writing makes for good, old-fashioned fun
I’m a sucker for the handwritten letter. For me, there’s nearly nothing better than walking to the mailbox in front of my house, pulling open the little metal door, and finding an envelope with my name scrawled across it. (more…)
What if? …
… right this moment … or at least the minute you get done reading this blog …
What if we all got up exactly this moment and (more…)
