A man fan

I’ve never been a sports fanatic, but I’ve always been a big fan of men, especially men who play sports.

When I was little, I was my brothers’ biggest fan. Both older, they were outstanding athletes and taught me sports essentials – like how to tuck a football in the crook of my arm and run like hell, how to throw a lateral, how to fake left. They taught me how to shoot hoop – how to aim for that sweet spot on the backboard, how to go in for a lay-up. (more…)

Santas — yes, that’s plural! — visit Sarasota!

Yesterday, throughout the day, I was visited by many Santas — dropping off messages via email, phone calls, blog postings. Everyday Santas from the lower 48 who’d read yesterday’s Dear Santa column and who had one overriding message — MC, you do believe! … maybe not in Santa, but in yourself and in people … otherwise, many of them pointed out, you wouldn’t be writing and sharing your thoughts in the first place.

And you know what? Maybe they’re right!

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Troll-house memories

Here’s wishing you all a fantastic Christmas — or whatever holiday you celebrate — or even just a fabulous end to a memorable year. I hope you not only remember the good times of the past, but make new memories to remember in the future!
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When I was little, I wanted a troll for Christmas. It wasn’t just me; my brothers wanted one too. Only problem was our Mom hated trolls; she thought they were ugly and pointless. And, in the lean years after her divorce from my father, I’m sure she thought trolls were a luxury in a household constantly in need of new shoes and mittens and hats for three growing children.

One Christmas, though, our mother relented. (more…)

New Year’s … past and present

Last night, I walked along Siesta Beach — something I rarely take the time to do. I meandered … mosied … along the water’s edge. Nudged seashells, watched some kind of dive-bombing kind of bird — not a pelican … had the tail of a swallow, I thought. Stood in sun salutation with a ragtag army of gulls, and tried to stand still in a swarm of sanderlings. The best part was I saw a dolphin — a young one — making his way through the water; slipping down under the small waves and then reappearing again a few feet away.

I was thinking of New Year’s Eve — thinking I might make a sojourn out to the beach that night to celebrate the coming year. Thinking that watching the sun go down on 2008, maybe with a shot of Sambuca in my pocket, might be kind of sweet.

Thinking about the eve of the New Year coming up, made me reflect on past New Year’s Eves since I moved to Florida … and that made me remember a column I wrote on the very subject just a couple of years ago. (more…)

I’m a sucker for the season …

I’m a sucker for the holidays. Most of the year, I’ve got my nose to the proverbial grindstone, but the holidays bring out the kick-up-your-heels side of me.

I mean, really, from a female perspective, what’s not to love?

You get to dress up. You get to show a little skin. You get to wear ridiculous shoes and put sparkly stuff all over your neck and ears and legs and lips. You get to try on eighteen outfits and then go back to the very first one. (more…)

Café chess — très sexy

Here’s a column that ran in 2006, but today, I’m so jonesin’ for my life in Boston, that it feels apropos to post.
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I spent this past Monday morning, a holiday, lazily finishing what was left from the Sunday NY Times. Sitting outside, a cup of Joe percolating through my veins; the day, the city, seemed full of unforeseen possibility.

Throwing a few pens, a notepad, a book, my journal, and a pack of Marlboro Lights – all the accoutrements of café society — in an oversized bag, I headed off for one of my favorite lazy-day activities – hanging in a café, drinking coffee and writing letters. (more…)

Party blast … or party bust … it’s up to you to make it fun

This year, be the party captain of your soul, be the mingling master of your fate. Whether you’re a host or a guest, the next party you’re at can either be a bust or a blast – and it’s all up to you.

Party-goers owe it to their hosts to be at the top of their game — the “I’m terribly fun, fabulously witty, and oozing with Clooney-like charm … and so are you!” game. So what if it’s your third party in a week and you’re not feeling it? Then you’ve got to fake it, baby! Trust me, the fun will follow. (more…)

Fatherly lessons I wish I’d had

This piece originally appeared in print in June 2007. I think it was a wish list of my own really — wishing I’d had a Dad who not only stuck around, but taught me how to stick up for myself from an early age instead of having to learn it all firsthand at the school of hard knocks. Of course, who ever listens to their father!?.

In a confusing world that tells girls to get good grades and “save themselves” for marriage and then shows them they’re nothing without a Pussycat Doll body and a closet full of Jimmy Choos, it’s up to Dads to tell and teach their daughters what they need to know: (more…)

City still offering same-sex benefits despite Amendment Two

(This piece ran in the Pelican Press newspaper November 19, 2008.)

Despite the success of Amendment Two in the Nov. 4 election, the City of Sarasota is continuing to offer a domestic-partner plan that would provide health insurance benefits, similar to those offered to spouses, to the live-in partners of city employees.

The amendment states that “no other legal union that is treated as marriage or the substantial equivalent thereof shall be valid or recognized” in the State of Florida, but that’s not stopping the City of Sarasota.

Given the ambiguity of the “substantial equivalent thereof” portion of the amendment, City Commissioner Ken Shelin acknowledges that potential problems could ensue.

“I suppose we won’t really know until somebody attempts to file a lawsuit to prevent some public entity from providing those benefits,” Shelin told the Pelican Press.

But, he said a week after the election, the city “is in the open season for signing up for health care benefits right now, and we’re going to move forward with it until somebody stops us.”

Shelin, who championed the domestic-partner benefit plan when it was up for vote before the city commissioners in September, says he does not think domestic partnerships qualify as “substantial equivalents” to marriages.

“I think they are something less than marriage,” he explained;

therefore, he doesn’t feel the city is violating any aspect of the new amendment. “I’m hoping [the amendment] doesn’t have any impact,” Shelin said. “The proponents have repeatedly said it wouldn’t … so I’m hoping they’re right.”

City Attorney Robert Fournier acknowledges that that the passing of Amendment Two may eventually affect the city’s ability to continue to offer health benefits to domestic partners.

“I don’t think it’s a foregone conclusion or an absolute certainty,” he said, but referring to the language about substantial equivalents to marriage, he predicts, “That’s going to be the part that the courts are probably going to be called upon to interpret.”

In the meantime, Fournier says, the city will continue to offer health benefits to employees with qualifying domestic partnerships. However, he added, “We may take a second look” at the wording in the current Declaration of Domestic Partnership the city requires of unmarried employees seeking benefits.

According to Kurt Hoverter, the city’s Human Resources director, the benefit plan is available to both same-sex and opposite-sex couples who live together in a committed relationship but aren’t married. To be eligible for the benefit, Hoverter says the couple must provide a signed and notarized Declaration of Domestic Partnership, attesting to, among other things, that they:

• “have mutually agreed to be in a committed, serious, long-term relationship indefinitely with each other”;

• “are jointly responsible for each other’s basic food, shelter, common necessities of life and welfare”;

• “share our primary residence with each other”;

• “share and coordinate financial responsibilities”;

• “consider ourselves to be a member of the immediate family of each other.”

Hoverter says that though the city has had a number of employees inquire about the domestic partner benefits, few have actually signed up. “People were waiting to see what happened with Amendment Two,” Hoverter said, adding, “We still don’t know how this is going to play out.”

Must love cats

A few nights ago, I broke my pledge to not go on a date for the rest of 2008 (after a particularly dispiriting dating experience in January). Don’t know why, but I decided to accept an invitation for drinks and so on the night of the full Harvest moon, I took the dating plunge once again. Since I’m in the process of loading all my previously published columns online, it seemed as good a time as any to load this column about a date I had in September 2006.
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“You’re not one of those crazy cat ladies, are you?” Oh, great. A first date, and he’s already got me pegged as a cat-carrying member of the dreaded single-woman-with-cats cartel. He’s waiting for a reply; a smirk on his face and a forkful of pasta Bolognese paused on a one-way trip to his mouth. I take a sip of wine and think. (more…)