As I reported last week, I went up to St. Pete to watch the Yankees lose 2-3 against the Rays. What I didn’t tell you was that, while I was supposed to be on a date with the man sitting next to me — yup, that one, the one who’d paid for the tickets, brought hand-made sandwiches and martinis in a giant thermos, yes, that kind-hearted, thoughtful soul, — I was really on a date with A-Rod, aka Alex Rodriguez, aka #13 for the Yankees.
Or at least it must have seemed that way to my “real” date. Because, all I did whenever Nimrod was up to bat, was snap photos of him — trying to capture him hitting his 600th home run.
I don’t know why I bothered. My date (a Rays fan but still I think he was being honest) told me that Nimrod has fessed up to using “performance enhancing” drugs. Like Viagra, I asked? Um, no, my date explained, the guy from the Evil Empire (yes, that was my date’s name for the Yankees) had used a little sumpin’ sumpin’ called steroids to increase his chances with home runs not home-town girls.
But still. I figured if history was going to made, I better capture it. All the better to be able to give the guy I formerly called ARod but based on this new information was now calling Nimrod, a hard time for being a LOSER.
Because TRULY, only a loser would try to win an award or some kind of accolade or anything through false means like drugs. Now, okay, well, Viagra’s a different story altogether ALLEGEDLY. Not that I would know.
But I digress.
I don’t consider this 600th home run legitimate.
My point is. Alex R., is a nimrod of the first degree if he used drugs while or in pursuit of playing baseball better. That’s just classless and yucky. Almost as bad as the Rays keeping poor sea creatures in a pool where baseballs come slamming through the water at a gazillion miles per hour.
I’m beginning to think everybody associated with baseball is just a big fat loser.
Oh, wait, I’m writing a blog about baseball — thus, I am now, officially, associated with it too!